@#$%&

Daddy didn't pass the swallow test today. It seems that too much damage has been done to the muscles and nerves in his neck. That's not to say that things won't get better, but it means that for now, he'll have to have a peg tube surgically inserted into his stomach for feeding.

The swallowing issue also means that he will have to come home with the tracheotomy tube in. Since he cannot swallow anything, that even means the lung secreations that each of us swallow every day will not get evacuated, so the trach. tube has to stay in.

I'm trying to stay positive and believe the God will allow the nerves to regenerate and that Daddy will learn how to swallow again. But if I allow myself to go down the other path, it just seems awful. Having to have two tubes in your body forever. Yuck. And my mom and I will have to learn how to feed Daddy and clean both of these. I don't mind, but what if it IS forever?

Mom wondered tonight why God allowed this. I have to admit, that it never occured to me that this would be one of the possible outcomes. Our speech therapist at the hospital is so sweet and so caring, she was really upset by the outcome of the test today too. Mom isn't doing well tonight. I'm single-parenting while DH is on a long business trip (4 trips in one). This was to have been the trip I got to go on with him. Oh well....

On the homeschool side of things, I have gotten a few lessons handled. Not as many as I would like, but at least enough that I can wing it if I have to.