I have to admit that I live in a pretty sheltered little bubble at times. We have very few friends who are divorced. We have recently had houseguests that are in the process of divorcing. Yes, they were here at the same time because they are from another country and were here to bring their children to the US on holiday. They are much more amicable than I would guess any divorcing parents are...but then it's a problem I am unfamiliar with. I'd like to think that I would be kind and put the children first, but then I do have a bit of a temper and at time a tongue that is loosed... but I digress.
I really enjoyed getting to see my friends and their children. I am happy to say that even though I met the 'him' part of the couple first, the friendship with the 'her' part of the couple is not going to be lost just because of the divorce. My husband gets along well with both of them, as do I, but I just don't speak geek as fluently as my husband does! ha. The two guys and I all worked together for a computer company more years ago that I'd like to admit. However, my life has changed and I now stay at home with my two DSs. I have to say that the conversations about system requirements, changing specifications, and end-users that are resistant to change just aren't my cup of tea any longer. I can tune in and empathize, but my hubby is much better at those conversations than I am!
The upshot of the weekend when we were all together is that I have realized (again) what a wonderful man God provided for me as a husband and father. He is attentive to our sons. He listens to me. My friend no longer has that in a marital relationship. They are in separate houses, with separate lives, and as such, no longer have the other to provide companionship and support. I know this probably sounds weird to anyone but me....but seeing how they are no longer together, makes me realize the blessings I have in my marriage.
I guess that's something that we all do at times: view our own lives differently after seeing the dramatic changes in the lives of those around us.
I don't know why I'm surprised by this, after the summer my family has had, but I am.
Watching my mom stick by my dad after ALL that he has been through is a testament to what wedding vows are about -- for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
Seeing my friends who tried to very hard to make it work, yet their ending is different from my parents' ending....it just makes me want to appreciate what I have that much more. I hope neither of my friends read this and think that I am being judgemental -- I'm not -- I'm just sad that things worked out the way they did. I am truly ignorant of the range of emotions that come into play when a marriage breaks down, but I hope that I am still a good friend to both, regardless of their marital status.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Post-Thanksgiving Thanks
Well, it's been awhile, again, since I last posted. My oldest DS's football season is over. They didn't win that many games, but he learned a lot and had fun. That's the good part of sports. My youngest DS is about to start basketball season. This will be his second year to play. I hope he has fun too.
Our youngest DS had surgery on his neck (again) this November. He'd had 3 surgeries in 7 weeks back in 2004. We thought we were finished, but I guess we weren't! His neck was very swollen near his thyroid gland. We saw 3 doctors in 3 days for him, had a CT scan done, saw a 4th doctor who eventually operated and removed a 3rd Branchial Cleft Cyst. I'm glad that there was something to remove this time. There had NOT been back in 2004.
Due to my dad's MRSA infection, he could not see my DS until he was completely healed. That took about a week, but both DS and my Dad managed the separation just fine.
Last weekend (prior to Thanksgiving) my dad's mom, my grandmother, had her 100th birthday celebration. Wow, that's a lot of living. She's in good health, relatively speaking, and said at the party that her grandfather lived to be 106. We'll see if she sets a new family record!
My other thanks is that my friend from Australia, Trisha, and her family arrived and we are to have another full week with them before they return to the land down under. We've visited quilt shops, clothing stores and still have places to tackle before they leave. Of course, we're having great fun trying out Mexican food restaurants and they are having fun eating good Tex-Mex.
The sad bit across the holiday weekend is that my brother and his family did NOT come for Thanksgiving -- even after he'd told my Dad that he would come. My brother needs to understand that we were very fortunate to have my dad with this this Thanksgiving after the suicide attempt in June. My heart aches for my parents because my brother is not balancing his life very well. I understand wanting to have your own family traditions and such, but it's sad that his tradition seems to be not spending holidays with his parents (and therefore, my family) and as a result, losing contact with us.
I am sad about this, but it's his choice. I wish that things were different. But I'm sure we can all say that about something in our lives.
So, for today, I'll be happy that I have friends from the other side of the world that are able to come visit. I'll count my blessings -- one more time! -- and be happy for the many, many God-given blessings that I have.
Our youngest DS had surgery on his neck (again) this November. He'd had 3 surgeries in 7 weeks back in 2004. We thought we were finished, but I guess we weren't! His neck was very swollen near his thyroid gland. We saw 3 doctors in 3 days for him, had a CT scan done, saw a 4th doctor who eventually operated and removed a 3rd Branchial Cleft Cyst. I'm glad that there was something to remove this time. There had NOT been back in 2004.
Due to my dad's MRSA infection, he could not see my DS until he was completely healed. That took about a week, but both DS and my Dad managed the separation just fine.
Last weekend (prior to Thanksgiving) my dad's mom, my grandmother, had her 100th birthday celebration. Wow, that's a lot of living. She's in good health, relatively speaking, and said at the party that her grandfather lived to be 106. We'll see if she sets a new family record!
My other thanks is that my friend from Australia, Trisha, and her family arrived and we are to have another full week with them before they return to the land down under. We've visited quilt shops, clothing stores and still have places to tackle before they leave. Of course, we're having great fun trying out Mexican food restaurants and they are having fun eating good Tex-Mex.
The sad bit across the holiday weekend is that my brother and his family did NOT come for Thanksgiving -- even after he'd told my Dad that he would come. My brother needs to understand that we were very fortunate to have my dad with this this Thanksgiving after the suicide attempt in June. My heart aches for my parents because my brother is not balancing his life very well. I understand wanting to have your own family traditions and such, but it's sad that his tradition seems to be not spending holidays with his parents (and therefore, my family) and as a result, losing contact with us.
I am sad about this, but it's his choice. I wish that things were different. But I'm sure we can all say that about something in our lives.
So, for today, I'll be happy that I have friends from the other side of the world that are able to come visit. I'll count my blessings -- one more time! -- and be happy for the many, many God-given blessings that I have.
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