Saturday, May 10, 2008

Lonesome

It seems lately (now that I'm not at the hospital or dealing with a crisis every day), that I really don't have that many personal friends to do things with. Since my Dad's attempted suicide, I've been so focused on my parents and on trying to still be a good mom to my sons, that I have not had much time to interact with my friends. Have some of them slipped away during the past year? I can't say that I feel that they have. I just feel that I've been soooo busy with my family, I've neglected my friends.

That's something that I want to change.

I'd also like to make new friendships and branch out a little. Sometimes that's hard to do with all that has gone on. I sometimes feel that in order to understand who I am now, people have to know what I've been through in the past year. That may be partially true, but I've always been one of those "full-disclosure" people -- for better or for worse. And I guess that's alot to unload on a 'new' friend. Maybe they think I'm one of those high-maintenance people.

My hubby is leaving town for a week-long business trip tomorrow afternoon and I just dread another week with my boys, with no female friends with which I can commiserate during his absence. I guess this blog will be a good place to put my feelings and thoughts when I need an outlet.

Not many people have walked the road I'm on -- at least, not many that I know right now. I would never wish this past year on anyone. So I guess I'm going to try to find a way to branch out some without scaring people off with my recent history.

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

It is really hard to keep friendships going when your personal life is a mess, no matter what the reason.

As you start to have time to focus on your friends again, it may be a good time to decide which ones are really friends, and which ones are what I call "fringe" friends. "Fringe" friends are really just people you ended up spending time with because of an activity you had in common, or because your children had something in common.

I hope you are not really lonesome while your husband is gone. I think you should take some time out to reconnect with your real friends.